Story: The Amish boy and the cat

Several summers ago, we hired an Amish builder and his sons to remove two old porches and replace them with a new room and outer entry porch. Every morning my husband drove 22 miles to pick them up in his van and bring them to our house, then repeat the drive after 5 pm every evening when they finished. They promised to have the work done in a week, and they did.

At noon, they would break for lunch and sit on the grass and eat, then nap or read a book. 

We have barn cats (that are pets as well). They would stroll around as the work was progressing.

One day, our black cat, Onyx, was sleeping under a winding stand of flowers by the garage. She is a soft, long haired cat and loves attention. One of the young men spotted her and asked if the black cat was friendly. Yes, my husband said (from around the side of the garage). So the young man walked over to pet her, calling out to her. But Onyx did not move.

The young man called out again, moving closer. He moved very close, detected no movement, so he walked back and said, "I think your cat is dead."

"No," my husband said, "she is probably just asleep."

So the young man walked back to Onyx, moved in closely clapping his hands and speaking, but she didn't move. So he touched her.

"AAARRRR!" Onyx flew up and off like a rocket! Across the yard and around the barn. The young man jumped up and and stumbled backward.

The others turned around to see what was happening. My husband asked the startled boy, "What happened?"

"I was checking to see if your cat was dead and I touched her, but I guess she wasn't," he said. "She jumped up and ran away!"

"Ohhhh, I forgot to tell you, the two older cats can't hear anymore," my husband said. "You have to stamp on the ground to alert them before you pet them."

The poor kid's brothers had a good laugh over that.

(As a side note, my husband did the same thing just yesterday. Bent down near the barn door to pet Onyx, because he thought she was awake and knew he was there. "AAARRRR!" and up away she went.)

Another story from that same week: I was getting ready for work upstairs one morning and the men were all outside working. The windows were open and it was already warming up. As I was brushing my hair, WHOOSH... something flew past my head! What the...? I thought. WHOOSH  there it was again, and I knew...

A BAT! Ooooo I hate those things! We live in a very old house and they get in the crawlspace above the second story. How they get into the house, who knows? Anyway, everywhere I went, that bat seemed to go. So I crawled to the hallway window and call out to a boy standing below, "Where is my husband?"

"Around back somewhere," he replied. 

"Tell him to come here! There's a bat in the house!" I hollered. I crawled back to the bathroom and shut the door.

But no one comes to my rescue. So I opened the door, looked for the bat and, not spotting it, crawled back to the window. I saw my husband below.

"Why didn't you come in? There's a bat loose in the house!" I shouted. 

"I'm busy," he called back. "It won't bother you anyway. We have the doors open. It will fly out."

What? He's not coming in to save me? Boy, was I mad. I could hear the fellows outside chuckling. There was nothing to do but finish getting ready and keep my head low going downstairs. I grabbed my keys and bags and headed for the garage. I was fuming.

"Did you find it?" my husband asked. 

"No! It's still in there!"

"Aw, it'll probably be gone by the time you get home anyway," he replied.

The older man, who had been somewhere else, asked, "What happened?"

"Oh, his woman is afraid of a bat," answered one of the sons, and they all laughed.

How I got my revenge:  When they were working on the outer porch, the man and his sons agreed to pour a new patio (at an additional cost, of course). My husband had taken up the old concrete patio stones and prepared the area so one day, they all poured a 12 x 24 foot patio. I came home just as they were packing everything up after 5 pm. It was just beautiful, that smooth, clean surface... so nicely done. I looked it over carefully, then got an idea.

My husband was talking to the father at the van, and the others were already inside. I called to them, "Wait! This isn't right!"

"What's not right?" asked my husband. The father was now on super-alert.

"The patio is crooked, and isn't over here far enough!" I said. "You need to move it. It has to come up!"

The father looked at my husband and said, "What did she say?" My husband repeated it to him, and the man's face just fell.

Oooops.  "Just kidding!" I called out. "I was just kidding, it's fine."

The young men in the van were laughing, and the poor father was trying to. Now that I think back on it, that little joke could have caused him heart failure! He gave me a watermelon when we visited his farm later in the month, so I guess there were no hard feelings.